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No more basic talk, time for down and dirty The don'ts of online dating

     I wound up here because I met a man 20 years my senior online.  I just broke up with my ex-fiance, who relapsed after having 22 years sober, mostly due to his son's suicide and mother's death.  He became physically and verbally abusive and bragged it to the town.  So here is a man with over thirty years sober, bold, grey hair man who promised me the world. And when it comes to sobriety, those with more time suppose to be looked up upon, not so much in my case.  But congrats to those who are walking the walk. This promise was not just financially but emotionally. His exact words were life will be like the fresh smell of flowers if you relocate to me.  I was a street smart kid from NYC, never thought an old man had a game, or was a con.
      I was intrigued by his words. We spoke every night and day for a year.  We spent an enormous amount of time on the phone learning about one another, building a foundation.  We even flew back and forth, and all was so great. His generosity seemed so genuine.  And someone with sobriety will never take me across the country to isolate me.  But to his credit, soon after the move, he began to verbally my daughter and I. Financially abuse me by charging high rent to a home that was paid off and physically abused my dog and I on one occasion.  But his dog took most of the abuse as well as his crazy thoughts.  I wondered what happened to that street smart kid, a strong black woman once a single mother.  I felt stranded without support. Some people warned me before leaving, like fellow past coworkers and close friends, but I needed a change, and I thought he was it.  

     I am now mentally, physically, and financially growing stronger on my own. No husband, no fiance, just me and my daughter, and I feel like the street smart black strong woman is emerging once again.  And for those who found love online, I wish you the very best.


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