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Christmas is over, and I am so relieved.  I overcooked as usual.  My semester is over, and I did well, but there was a glitch, and there is always is in my life.  My life experience course, which I have a lot of it was an A, but my advisor was not pleased with the papers that were to be submitted, so I may not get to the march.   I will fight and get extra help and figure it out. I have four classes this semester and hopefully my last.  I hope to own my own business to help others in many ways, especially youth aging out of foster care and women learning and knowing their self-worth.  And all the while working part-time, caring for my family, and looking for the right man for me. I am not looking for a nice man, a great father but the right man for me. I am also looking for me.  Where is the middle-aged woman taking her life now?  I feel in control.  New Year, I will be on time, stay in shape, watch what I drink, keep my business to myself, and make money.  I tell myself I am beautiful


I took a day off from final papers to get my hair and nails done. My bumper fell off.  I kept going.  I have stayed up until 6 am doing these papers. Some are easy, some not so much.  I am determined to give in all my requirements and papers on time, and I hope my professors and the school helps me get through.  I will fight to graduate this June at age 50.  I have a test due to a lump in my breast, I have blood clots that need biopsies, and I would dream of a 50th birthday party that I have not been able to put together.  I have also been fighting my daughter's school to keep her 504 in place to remain in a smaller class setting with more than one teacher.  She wants to remain in this program and is striving in school, so why would they want to change that.  I will fight until the bitter end, back to my papers.


I am still blogging and holding on in hopes of graduating this June and watching my youngest graduate high school and graduate college herself. I want to help others, but I need to help myself, and no one is responding to my blog anymore, so I cannot have any communications throughout all of this.

Felt a Lump

I have been through hell and back.  I am tired, and I am ready for the other side, no matter what it may be.  I went to the gym, and he felt the same. He said I would not worry, but we will do a test.  I put it off cause what will it change. I have a semester to finish, and when all is done, I will get all 6he test done. I wonder if waiting a month makes a difference.

Clumsy ass bitch!!!

I went to Manhattan to see my GYN  after two years.  I felt a lump, and he felt a lump.  It is most likely nothing, but I have more tests to take.  I left and helped an elderly man cross the street and get into a cab.  I drew a blank when it came to subways and locations.  This may be because I am downplaying the mass/lump.  I was near Wall St., going to visit my brother and his family in Battery Park. I saw a falafel cart with bright lights.  I walked across, and he stated, "we are closed,"  so I had to turn and cross back.  I walked straight into a big green utility box I do not remember seeing.  I became dizzy, dizzier than usual, and people surrounded me to help.  My extinct was to say I am fine and grab my stuff.  I felt that metal taste and thought my teeth were going to fall out.  I began to cry and rested at my brother's as my knot on my head grew, and my black eye was developing.  When you get older, it is harder to heal, so I will be careful from now on.  My fam

Stress and life: Weak or Strong

I take on 6 classes. One is done, and I received an A.  The rest is kicking my ass. Well, 2 out 5.  I care for the grandchildren at times, and I cook at least three days a week.  I am reading other blogs that it is never too late.  People 50 and over are excelling once they graduate.  I feel apprehensive because I have a busy life and family.  All of these classes seem harder than they would when I was 18.  I find myself scratching, sad, and nervous all the time.  I am losing sleep and trying to push through so that I can graduate this summer.  I always take on more than I can chew, but I intend to do the same with a new career, especially since my youngest will be heading to college in a few years. I am also working on having my pictures showing on my blog.